Delight thyself in the Lord... part 5.

(If you're new to this story, go here!)

And so... I moved on with my life. It wasn't easy. I was continually wondering 'was I too hasty? Did I make the right decision?' And for some reason, I couldn't get it out of my head that Victor would be very dissapointed and discouraged. But then I would ask myself 'Why should I care?'. The next few weeks, were very difficult for me. But finally, things were about to change... let me give you a peek into my journal to tell this part of the story.



Ocotber 20, 2006
One month from today, I'll be 19 years old. It's so hard to believe. I feel like I'm getting too old too fast.

A month from now we'll also be in Williston. Who knows what that will hold.

In so many ways lately, I've really wished I hadn't said "no" to Victor. Did I answer to hastily? I pray daily that he would ask again. Oh, if he only knew that if he asked again, I would say yes (to a correspondence)! I just keep turning everything over to God. In the end of it all I want to find myself in the middle of God's will, whether that means marriage to Victor or not.

God, Give me patience to wait...


October 28, 2006 :) 1:30 a.m. :)

Tonight has been so crazy! And it's not over yet!

We went to Beth w.'s Bridal shower tonight. I enjoyed talking to Ruby C. during dinner. She's such a sweet and Godly lady.

We brought Jessi home with us cause John had dropped her off at the shower and then gone home to visit with dad. Once we got home, we visited for a while and then they headed home.

After they left, Daddy and Mommy went to pick up the twins from working at the Hamiltons. When they got home, Daddy sat me down and told me that Victor had been on his heart lately and said he also sensed a change in my heart and feelings toward him (Victor). I was a little surprised, cause I had decided that I would just pray and wait on God. The only person I'd shared my feelings with was Angie (my sister). Who knows where this will go. God has changed my heart and life so much lately. Only He knows what will come of all this! He is so good to me.

During the devotional tonight, Sis. Jodi made a comment that really stood out to me. She said "God promises that those who trust in Him will never be ashamed or disappointed. The only times we are ashamed or disappointed, are when we place our hope and trust in ourselves."

Oh how very true that is...
...Nevertheless, Father, not my will, but Thine be done!


October 29,2006
Daddy emailed Victor yesterday, and got a response this morning. He said he will pray about it and then get beck with us.


Later that day...
I'm beginning to understand what Victor went through back in the beginning of September. I have nothing to do, but wait and pray. I only hope I don't have to expierience the same response. God, grant me the grace to accept your will!!

My biggest prayer and goal, is that God would be glorified no matter what the outcome!

He alone is worthy of our honor and praise.

Oh, that I could come even close to giving Him the glory due His name.


October 30, 2006
Still no word! Oh, my soul, why are you so anxious? Put your trust in God!

I went out walking tongiht at 8:30. It was simply me and my blessed Savior. I poured out my heart to Him as I slowly walked over the moonlit gravel. It was a wonderful time, and I earnestly besseched my loving Heavenly Father for wisdom and guidance for Victor. It was then that the thought dawned on me, that Victor would be beginning his day with our heavenly Father at that time.

Oh God, grant us wisdom and patience! Help us bring glory to your name! Help me to put my trust in you and to wait patiently!


November 1, 2006
Well, we recieved an email from Victor this morning...

Now that I have time to finish this:) Daddy got an email from Victor this morning that said that his (Victor's) feelings had not changed and that he is open to a correspondence. Daddy has begun and I'm really excited to see what will come of all of this. The Maxson's plan to return to the states (they had been doing missionary work in Africa) either late December or early January... I'm really looking forward to seeing them all again!

And so, Daddy's correspondence with Victor had begun. They covered many issues and yet, found agreement! And so... what comes next?

(To be continued...)

Delight thyself in the Lord... part 4.

The next morning, I woke up with that fresh sense of the love of my Heavenly Father for me. We were heading on to Florida that day and I was excited at the prospect of seeing old friends. Little did I know what was about to happen.

I sat down with my bible and a glass of water for my morning devotions. I was really enjoying them, when my cell phone alerted me that I had a text message. I read it. It was from mom and it said "Call dad when you get a chance and can talk in private." Hmmmm.... that's funny.
I finished my devotions and then went to the room where I was staying. It was empty and so I sat down and called Dad.

I can remember being really uncertain and a little nervous but trying not to sound it. Dad asked how I was, asked how our trip was going, and then asked if I was in a private place where I could talk. I said Yes, and he began by telling me that he had recieved a letter from a young man who was interested in me. My heart began to beat a little faster, and I began to wonder who it could be. I thought of a couple of younger guys that we knew that daddy might even consider, but the answer came soon enough and it took me totally by surprise. Here's what Daddy read:

"Dear Mr. Turack,

I am the oldest son of Frank and Evelyn Maxson, missionaries in Malawi, Africa. Your daughter came to visit us late last year with the team who came with Pastor Harding. I am writing you because I have a serious interest in your daughter Bethany. I have observed her quiet godly manner, servant heart, and desire for serving God. After prayer and discussion with my parents (who are aware and approve of my writing), I want to ask if you will allow me to correspond with you about this.

Since I understand that you may know little about me I will try to explain what I can. Any questions on what follows or any other matters I will be quite willing to answer.

As I said I am the eldest in the family. I am 26 years old. Though I realize that there is an age gap between myself and Bethany (7 1/2 years:) I do not believe it would prove to be a real barrier.

I have been homeschooled from kindergarten all the way through high school, and am very thankful for it. The Lord has given me godly and wise parents from whom I can learn a lot!"

Daddy ended reading the letter there, and there was silence for a minute. I was totally shocked! Of all the people I'd ever known, he was the absolute last one I would have guessed... I had a knot in my throat and could hardly speak. I really didn't know what to say.

(Let me take a little break here to give you a little history on my reaction... you see when I visited the Maxson's in Malawi, I saw very little of Victor. What I did see, he seemed quiet, withdrawn and very serious. When all the young people were playing games, he would go to bed with the adults and things like that. He even told me the other day, that he used to be more the "hermit" type before we got married.)

And so, with that background, you will understand my reaction. And yet, I was torn... You see, at the age of eight, I had commited my life to mission work, wherever that might be. Victor had plans to marry and return to Africa as a missionary... I struggled with that letter for the rest of the trip. There was a continual nagging thought in my mind 'Could this really be it? Could Victor really be the one I've been waiting for?' I would push that thought out of my mind though, and try to focus on the events at hand.

As I said, I was struggling for the rest of the trip. When I got home, it didn't get any better. I was so confused. Part of me was all for it, part of me was totally against it. Finally, knowing I had to give an answer to Victor, I told daddy that I had no peace. Here's a short exerpt from his response letter to Victor:

"Dear Victor,
Thank you for your communication last week concerning Bethany. We have talked and prayed about this and though Bethany loves your family and enjoyed her time with you all she does not have peace from the Lord about pursuing a marriage relationship with you. "

And so, it was all over... or so I thought!

(TO be continued...)

Coming soon...

Tomorrow (Lord willing) I will be starting a couple weeks of giveaways! Be sure and check back often. Also, my wonderful sister has sent me the letters, so I will be continuing our courtship story soon as well!!

Stay tuned...

Courtship story to be continued...

For those reading our courtship story, it will continue as soon as I can get a letter that is very important to the story.

See, I have it printed out... in storage in Texas with my parents. My dad has it on a computer... but it's packed in their hopes of moving. So... when I get the letter, I will continue:)

Delight thyself in the Lord...part 3.

Sorry for my lateness in returning to finish this post. Life has been busy of late, and I've had a hard time finding "free time".

Let me try to pick up where I left off. If you haven't read the first two parts of this, you can go see part 1 and part 2 to bring you up to date.

So, as I was saying, I really began wondering if any guy exsisted that came anywhere close to my standards. At the time, I knew a few young men, but they really weren't what I was looking for. Sometimes I wondered if my standards were too high. Would I really be able to find the "man of my dreams"?

The answer came (at least partly) in December of 2006. For many years I had corresponded with a girl who was the daughter of a missionary my family supported. Finally the opportunity had presented itself for me to take a trip to Malawi Africa and meet her and her family. A pastor friend of ours was taking his daughter and some others over and so I was invited to go along. I was very excited about the prospect, as I had wanted to go there for quite a long time.

The time came and we took the trip over there. When we arrived, Joy was there to meet us along with her dad and a few siblings. I thoroughly enjoyed my ten day stay, and was actually quite sad to leave. It was good to get home, though and I soon fell back into the swing of things at home. But during this whole time, the thought of marriage to Victor really never crossed my mind. He seemed like a nice guy (what little I saw of him) but he was a whole 7 1/2 years older than me, and he just didn't seem my type.

(Let me interupt this story here for a mintue and encourage you young ladies out there about something. When a young man is brought into your life by your heavenly Father, try to put "feelings" out of the way and try to determine rather if this is God's will, and NOT do I think we "go well together".)

As I was saying, life went on. I graduated that year. I was as busy as ever. September rolled around, and one of the girls from the trip was getting married. Our pastor had been asked to speak the Sunday after the wedding, and since they had an extra seat in their van, I was able to go along and attend the wedding.
While travelling our to Florida where the wedding would be held, we stopped at a small church in Louisianna where Pastor was going to preach on a Wednesday night. The services where held at the Pastor's home in his garage and after the service, most of the young people went outside to play, visit, etc. I didn't really know anybody, so I wandered out into the yard and sat down on the huge trampoline and looked up into the beautiful night sky. For some reason, I had one phrase from a bible verse going around and around in my head. It was the phrase "Thy maker is thine Husband." (A horrible misquote I'm sure but that's basically what it said.) As I lay their looking at the beautiful stars in the night sky, I was reminded that I had been dwelling too much on marriage. I needed to let it go and focus on my life here and now and seek to serve the Lord in whatever ways I could while I had the time.
Shortly before I had left on this trip, I had had breakfast with a friend of mine who was in her late twenty's and still waiting on God to bring her husband to her. She had encouraged me to focus on my heavenly Father and serving Him, and to remember that it's not all about getting married. In fact, we don't deserve to ever get married. Rather, it is a special blessing given to us by our loving heavenly Father.

And so, with those thoughts swirling in my mind, I lay on the trampoline looking at the stars and feeling the sweet peace that comes from trusting in your Heavenly Father to provide everything you need.

That peace, however, was short lived...

(To be continued...)

Delight thyself in the Lord, part 2

On the Valentines day when I was 16, it dawned on me that I was nearing the age where I would be old enough to get married. Because of this, I wrote out a list of what I wanted in a husband. This list was not physical but rather it was character and lifestyle. Here is the list I wrote:

• A strong walk with and desire for God and His will.
• A heart for missions.
• A love for music.
• A love for children and desire for many.
• Level-headedness - not easily shaken up.
• Servants heart- ready and willing to serve.
• Leader.
• Love for others.
• Strong in body and spirit.
• Likeness in convictions, faith and beliefs.
• Like desires and goals.
• Cheerful - have a ready smile.
• Content with his lot in life.
• Obedient and submissive to elders.
• Willing to lead in family devotions.
• Leader among his peers.
• Loves my family and my family loves him.
• I love his family and they love me.
• Humble.
• Pure.
• Tender.
• Protecting.
• Romantic.
• Forgiving.
• Has a source of steady income and can support a family.

And so, here was my list. Through out the few remaining years until I got married, I often wondered if anyone even exisited with those qualifications. And yet, he did...

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Delight thyself in the Lord...

Recently, I've been thinking back to our courtship and engagement days. It seems like so long ago. I still remember the overwhelming feeling of wondering if this was truly God's will for me. I knew once the decision was made, it was fianal. There was no going back.

It was a difficult decision for me, because I really didn't know Victor at all. When he emailed Daddy, I was totally shocked. 'Why is he interested in me' I thought. Our family had known the Maxsons for many years, ans we had supported their work in Malawi. But, the first time I'd ever met their family, was on the trip I took in Dec. 2005. During that trip, I hadn't really noticed Victor, and what I did see, didn't really make me think 'He's the one for me!!'.

So now, you might understand better why I was so shocked and uninterested when Victor first wrote daddy.

And yet as time wore on, my first response of NO! turned to maybe and then eventually to a Yes!. I still was a little uncertain, but every time I would think 'This doesn't make sense. I should just end it now' I would hear a little voice "behind me saying, this is the way, walk in it."(Isaiah 30:21). And so, I continued to walk by faith, trusting the Lord to direct my steps and bless my obedience to Him. And you know what... He has more than I could ever imagine.

(TO BE CONTINUED)